“Worship Me with your ears”.
I was singing loudly as usual, you know, to bless the folks in front of me. OH, and I was singing to God to bless him too. God had said to me a few months ago – while I was doing the same thing – Your voice is louder than Mine. OH, Lord. I am so sorry. I will work on this.
It wasn’t just about the singing, it was about my life. God also shared with me that I can’t hear him because I am too loud. He made me put it into practice too. It was easy to sing softer during worship time at church. It was excruciating to say nothing when my feelings were hurt by my husband. I immediately went to write a SCATHING email to him laying out in perfect persuasion and pointed passion the ways he was failing in our household and how he had hurt me. Just the second before my finger found the send key God whispered, Is your voice louder than mine?
But God! This letter is the only thing keeping me from crying. I don’t want to be hurt, I want to be angry and act in that anger. I want to avenge and pillage! I had to erase the whole thing, because if I kept it as a draft, I was sure to “edit” it and send it later. I then sulked up the stairs to my bathroom where I turned on praise music and cried. THAT HURT MY FEELINGS, LORD!! Then I left it alone. I didn’t take it with me. That was it.
The next day my husband sent a text apologizing – which is a big step for him – but it wasn’t good enough for me. It was so mean, what he said to me, I wanted a full-on frontal, verbal apology. God would not have it. I walked around offended a few more days, but God would not be moved. So then I-I-I had to apologize. That’s what I get for trying to be louder than God.
But this weekend, God upped the ante: I want you to worship me with your ears.
In two ways he showed me I need to be a better listener. And then he gave me this word to back it up. And again, it was easier to not use my voice to worship in the congregation, but once I got home – oi vey! I have six children still living at home. I have a lot I want to say. But God wants me to listen.
So, if you think about it, pray for me – pray for me ears! Or, I suppose pray for my mouth! – that I might not open it, but instead, worship God with my ears. And, if you think about it, you might try it as well.